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10 Rules of Grocery Shopping That EVERYONE Needs to Follow

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While the grocery store experience should always be pleasant — after all, the result is that you get food — there are some things “certain people" do that can take away some of that pleasure.These 10 rules of grocery shopping are written just for them.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who return carts to the cart corral and a-holes.Leaving a cart to find its own way home often results in the cart camping out in a parking spot someone will inevitably pull halfway into before realizing the cart is there and angrily backing out, pissing off people behind them.The carts have a home. Help them find their home.

You do not have super-human pedestrian powers that override people in their cars trying to get past or around you.Pick a side — any side — and no one gets hurt.

If you’re barreling down the middle or the wrong side like a linebacker and clip my cart, I am not above throwing a shoulder.Also, try to refrain from doing a 180 halfway down a jam-packed aisle only to amble along as if you’re taking in the sights at the Louvre. It’s soup. Not the Sistine Chapel.

The sign says 15 items or less. It does not say, “Everything you can stick in the small-ass cart you chose instead of regular cart.”That does not refer to the number of item types, but the actual item count. For example, those 75 cans of soup that took you 15 minutes to pick out does not count as a single item.You are not a special snowflake. If everybody ignored this rule, it would just be a regular line. Image: dcwcreations / Shutterstock.com

Really? Come on now, people.

Regardless of how close you creep up, or how many items you throw on the belt, you will be next — after me.If you continue to creep up, I will pretend to go through my coupon keeper for an extraordinary amount of time and chit chat with the cashier.Unless you would like to pay for my produce. In that case, you have a deal.

This means not chatting on your phone while she’s ringing up your groceries or getting ticked when she won’t accept the four expired coupons you thought she’d ignore.If you get caught trying to sneak in an expired coupon, just let it go. It’s 35 cents off of dish soap. You’ll survive.

Once given your receipt and all 300 extra pieces of paper that get pumped out of the printer with it, do not stop and read the receipt like it’s a treasure map.There is nothing on that paper that is so important that you need to throw on the brakes and cause a backup. Move it along.

Know your limits.Can you find a bar code on a product? Match the picture of bananas on the screen to the bananas in your cart? Flatten paper money to insert into a slot?If you answered “no” to any of those questions, don’t be a hero. Go through the normal checkout.

Finally, do not slowly drive behind me at 5 miles per hour impatiently waiting for my parking spot that is often only two spaces down from another available spot.Unless you’re going to get out and help me unload my groceries into the back, your insistence on sitting there, impatiently revving the engine on your minivan, will force me to do a full vehicle check — interior and exterior — before getting back in and leaving 5 minutes later.Thank you for shopping with us.Have a nice day.

from 22 Words http://ift.tt/1OLpmbt

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